I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
