Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
