i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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