I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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