I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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