That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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