she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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