Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize