Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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