What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
