You work out of a Hotel?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
