I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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