You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize