How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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