May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
