just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
