dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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