I haven't been this sober since birth.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
