dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
