Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
