Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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