Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I enjoy the company of your penis
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
