Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
