You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
