margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
