There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
