So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
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