Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
