Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
