i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
