we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We need to rekindle our bromance
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
