All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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