Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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