why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
you never un-have a 4some
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
