i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
