sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
