He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
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