K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
