Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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