I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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