Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
