The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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