And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you inspire me to be a worse person
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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