I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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