office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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