She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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