Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
