1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
