its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We're too hungover to prance.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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