i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
