My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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