oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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