You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
