His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
