Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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