non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
