Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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