question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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