The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
