remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
