Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
