I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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