Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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