Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
