Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
