i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
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