I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
