watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
