addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
