look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
